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  • The Power of Words

    Anxious womanThe Power of Words on Children

    Last week I met with a teenager for a hypnosis session; she was anxious as she feared there was a change that was about to occur in what was at that moment her home. This young lady had found out there was probably an ensuing divorce between her parents. So it was accurate to assess that she had concern and anxiety regarding her future life without both parents present. “I do not know when to expect them to start fighting,” she cried. “There are moments that seem like they love each other, and then someone begins yelling and threatening divorce. So they will undoubtedly go through with it.” It frightened her as he pondered “Where would I live? Is there enough money?” Money was one of the things the fights were about. “Would I be able to see both of my parents? I cannot imagine spending time going between two homes. Will I still have my friends?” It frightened her, the disintegration of what she knew as her family. It was obvious her fears were well founded. But I understood better the strains of her home life when her mom arrived with her younger brother to pick her up. I listened as her mom spoke of her other child as “the little terror,” It is important to acknowledge that no matter the age, a child can understand what is being said. It is not only words – it is the tone of the words, the accompanying voice and the facial expressions increases the impact of words. It is also body language which delivers a message. As adults we need be aware of the results we will get from the words we select. What we need to consider is the message we transmit.

    Communicate with Words of Strength

    Speaking with Words of Strength is one way to  communicate to a child or actually anybody utilizing a positive outlook. Begin with a constructive statement. For example, “You look attractive, handsome or good-looking today. What made you choose a blue top?” Even if you do not like the blue top, you are getting a better understanding from another. So I want to begin the conversation with an approach that will make someone else feel like I am here with you and you with me. I show respect for your choices and I have a question.

    Do Not Brand Children

    Do not Brand children with titles or words that reflect negativity. Even using a suggestion like  “You are the smart one” – which can have the opposite effect. Many times a weight can be put on a child’s shoulder unconsciously that they attempt to direct themselves toward because a child, nearing the completion of their day really does want to make their parent or caregiver happy, love them, and do the “right thing.” If you choose a single characteristic for instance, “You are pretty,”or “You are the smarter one,” you also disorganize their thought processes by not allowing a consideration of the possibilities. So while these observations are a positive, strong statements, an assortment of other words can be stated that have power. Speaking with Words of Strength without branding a child is essential. Remember the tone of your voice, a smile, open body language, and Words of Strength. You do not need to add adjectives which place an unfavorable influence on a situation. “How was your day?” does not mean,”I heard you had a bad day.”Genuinely question, “How was your day?” and allow yourself to receive an answer. Perhaps they have another perception. It is about appreciation, confidence and positive words of strength.

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